Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult - #2 Tips
Coming to terms with ADHD - Some Tips
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INTRODUCTION
In the first one of these posts (Diagnosed With ADHD as an Adult 1 - Challenges) we looked at some of the bumps in the road having a diagnosis can bring.
Here they are:
Late Recognition and Missed opportunities
Impact on Daily Functioning
Emotional Well-being
Stigma and Misunderstanding
Treatment Adjustments
Overwhelm
Of course, everyone is affected differently; some a lot, some much less so.
But while getting a diagnosis is a good thing, especially being clear about what we’re dealing with, it can also trigger a challenging period of adjustment.
In this post, I want to offer a few practical tips that might help my fellow ADHD journeyers who are coming to terms with the reality of their diagnosis, and may be bring a little hope in the face of the challenges.
Caveat
As with the challenges themselves, a tip that works for one may or may not be helpful to others; the solutions are as unique in their applicability as the challenges they address.
That said, I’ve found both comfort and practical help in listening to the advice of others and learning from their experiences.
So, here are a few things that might help, especially if your diagnosis was relatively recent.
Practical Tips for Coping with Adult ADHD:
1. Education and Self-awareness:
Learn about ADHD and how it shows itself in adults. Understanding the range of challenges associated with the condition is the first step towards understanding yourself better and finding ways to manage things more effectively.
Read about the experiences of others and how they’ve coped. I found reading around the subject fantastically helpful - my two favourite ADHD books are listed in the ‘more info’ section below, if you’re looking for somewhere to start.
For me, the great benefit of reading was seeing myself in what others were saying. In page after page of comment and anecdote about ADHD, I found myself saying, ‘Yes! That’s me!’ This came as both a validation and a relief.
2. Structured Routines:
Establishing structured routines can help in managing daily tasks and responsibilities.
I should say at the outset that I hate routine. The very thought of having to do things, of having the day organised drives me nuts. I’d much rather stumble through, doing whatever my nose leads me in to. But I’ve learned ages ago that this just doesn’t work; the thought is much better than the reality.
Start at the macro level by deciding what things you’re going to do on which days of the week. This applies to work things, domestic responsibilities and the fun stuff.
Then zoom in and assign individual recurring tasks to specific time slots on particular days. This will give you a sense of the broad structure of the week and the rough parameters of each day.
I know, the thought of it is a real ball ache. But it’ll help.
3. Effective Time Management:
This can sound horribly patronising, I know! But it’s not.
Working out how to capture what needs doing into some kind of list or plan, makes a huge difference. Personally, I easily feel swamped by the sheer number of things that need doing. Each one is easy. I can do it. But together they feel overwhelming sometimes.
Taming this particular beast can make a big positive difference.
Use tools like planners, alarms, and reminders to enhance your time management skills - try a few different ones and build a system that works for you.
I have digital onscreen countdown timers, Apple Watch alarms and a kitchen timer all on my desk to remind me of different things.
Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can make a significant difference - I split things up into projects and tasks to help me organise things better. Projects being the overall ‘thing’ I’m working on; tasks being the smaller individual steps I need to take to achieve the bigger goal.
You will still forget things, procrastinate and get distracted - this is a given - but you also get a lot more done and feel better doing it, once you build a system that works for you.
(For those who might be interested, I use Notion for nearly everything. Specifically, Thomas Frank’s ‘Ultimate Brain’ template is just superb!)
My customisation of the Thomas Frank Ultimate Brain template…
4. Seeking Support:
If people don’t know about your diagnosis, how can they help you? Living with and dealing with a condition like ADHD is easier when you’re not alone.
Share your diagnosis with close friends, family, and colleagues. Educate them about ADHD to foster understanding and create a supportive environment. It’s helpful to share your personal experience of how the condition plays out for you - this personalises it and keeps it from being or becoming a distant medical thing.
Be mindful that you may not always get the response from people that you’d like. I’ve had both extremely empathic responses (’that must be really difficult’) and dismissive and minimising ones (’we’re all bit like that, aren’t we?’). Expect both and you’ll be ready for it.
Consider joining support groups or seeking therapy or ADHD coaching to connect with others who understand and/or share similar experiences.
5. Professional Guidance:
Whether or not they have lived experience of the condition, there is always benefit in hearing what the experts have to say.
Work closely with healthcare professionals, including psychiatrists, coaches and therapists, to tailor a treatment plan that suits your individual needs.
Ask your questions - be honest, don’t hold back and keep asking until you feel you’ve been heard.
Regular communication with your healthcare team is essential for making adjustments to medications or therapeutic interventions - but unless they know how you’re doing and what you’re feeling, they can’t make intelligent adjustments to your regimen.
The accountability of regular ‘check-ins’ like this can really help to anchor you and provide opportunities for feedback and accountability, as well as helping with focus.
6. Try, Tweak & Try Again
Any plan for dealing with ADHD is an iterative process - you have try, review, adjust and try again. Over and over. It’s the only way.
Every person’s experience of ADHD is different. You, your partner, your kids and family won’t experience or respond to it the same way that me and my family do.
As you build a world of people, plans and professionals to help you make the absolute best of your talents, don’t be afraid to change things as you get to know yourself and your condition better.
ADHD is not a condition that allows you to settle into a permanent state of affairs. If you’re anything like me, it’ll drive you to change, adapt, try new things, deep dive into something and then deep dive into something completely different in a few weeks time. That’s fine. Celebrate it. Enjoy it. And go again.
If/when something doesn’t work well or stops being effective, look for another way, improve or replace it with something else. Your age, family circumstances, work factors and a myriad of other things can change over time, so it’s important to stay flexible and to tweak your approach as/when necessary.
FINAL THOUGHTS…
Discovering that you have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as an adult can be a revelation. It often brings clarity to past struggles while presenting new challenges.
I hope you get a sense from this post that there is real hope for people with ADHD.
It can be managed well. More than that, the myriad strengths and positive aspects of ADHD can be harnessed to produce a life that is fun, fulfilling and productive.
Please leave a comment below and let me know your experiences!
More information:
Coaching for ADHD - check out AdvanceADHD to see an excellent example
BOOK: ADHD According to Zoë: The Real Deal on Relationships, Finding Your Focus, and Finding Your Keys - click here (affiliate link)
BOOK: Scattered Minds - The Origins & Healing of ADHD - click here (affiliate link)
BOOK: ADHD 2.0 by Ed Halliwell & John Ratey - click here (affiliate link)
ADHD Test: Do I Have ADHD? - click here
ADHD Test: For Women - click here
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